The Power of Love

  I don't watch the news. I took a break from it a few years ago and never went back. I always manage to find out about anything big, and it saves me from the constant barrage of negative political spin, violent images and mind numbing celebrity gossip. But some news is good to know, or interesting to observe, so I do listen around the water cooler and look on-line to see what people are talking about.
 As I read new posts on Facebook, the two big events that captured everyone's attention this week were the royal wedding and the tornado in Alabama. I thought it funny that Americans were so captivated by an English wedding. I found it heartbreaking that so many families were dealing with such loss in Alabama. My knee jerk reaction was to think "How ridiculous to follow a stupid wedding when so many people are hurting right here at home." but than I quieted my inner critic and just tried to understand it. I found myself smiling often as I read people's Oohs and Ahhhs and I couldn't help but be happily hopeful for this young couple. And than I realized that these two events, while outwardly so different, had something very much in common; the power of love to move people.
 After the initial shock fear and shock wore off, I saw people from all over the country rally to the aid of people they didn't know in Alabama. Donations were being gathered, food, clothing, diapers and dog food were being collected; in every story I saw love in action. It was much bigger than any tornado could ever hope to be.
 And then there was the wedding. Costumes and carriages, funny hats and beautiful dresses. I had to laugh. Why on earth was this so interesting to us? The simple answer was love. We love love. Even the most sceptical among us I think secretly hoped that the love we have or hope for could be as grand as this Royal wedding suggested Kate and William's love must be. The common denominator of these two very different events was our need to give love and our hope to feel the love of another.
 Love. Love. Love. At the end of the day, it's really the only thing that matters. Let's remember that we don't have to wait for someone else's wedding to make us hopeful, and we can give to those who need even in the absence of news worthy tragedy. Who knows? Maybe I'll meet my own prince while volunteering at my city's next food drive.

Life Changing Books

 I have a call out to all authors, writers and want to be writers to guest blog. I'll be posting these blogs as the weeks go on. The subject will be books that have personally inspired the writer, why it inspired them and how. I hope everyone with check in and look for new reading material and share your own experience with the books written about if you've already read it. I will also be posting my thoughts about some of the Balboa titles I have read and encourage you to add them to your collection.
 If you're interesting in guest blogging on this topic shoot me an email or message on Facebook.


 Until then, have an inspirational week!

Spiritual Nourishment

  Anyone who visits my facebook page will notice I post a lot about vegetarianism, the quality of our food and animal abuse. I have always been aware of the cost of my choices, but I've also been guilty of "forgetting" what I know when knowing it was inconvenient. The more awake I become, the more I am becoming unable to separate myself from my fellow beings. I feel instinctively that what I do to others I also do to myself.
 It's sometimes hard to make changes in things like what I put in my mouth. For me, and I think for most of us, food is intricately tied to emotions, memories and comfort. We think more about how food makes us feel than were it comes from. We've also become accustomed to having food fast. When we do make a trip to the grocery store, we see lots of perfect looking food and are bombarded by pictures of happy animals on idyllic farms. The food industry has made it easy, and has wanted us, to fool ourselves. They have even managed to have laws enacted to keep the truth from us and to punish people who try to educate us to what our diets are doing to food industry workers, animals, the earth and our health. Our cheap food is extracting a very heavy price on our humanity.
  I know not everyone will feel the need to adopt a vegan lifestyle. I'm not asking anyone to do what they don't feel impassioned to do. What I would like is for us all to make sure our nourishment actually nourishes us; not only physically, but spiritually. Know what you are putting in your body. Make conscious choices. Support local, organic food producers. If you are an animal lover, make sure you aren't unknowingly contributing to their pain and suffering. If you haven't seen it, watch 'Food, Inc.'  and let your wallet speak your conscious.  And don't forget to give thanks.

(I'd like to add that my stance was softened a bit by spending a little time Thursday night with someone who grew up on a small farm and gave me a bit of perspective on the difference between that reality and factory farming. It's amazing how a chance encounter can help you keep perspective. A week ago I would have left no room for meat eating at all.)

Spiritual Communities

 I've been reading a book by Thich Nhat Hanh called "Friends on the Path". I'm not sure why I chose this book now. I didn't grow up with organized religion so as a child I had no notion of a "church family". Even now, although I visit temples and meditation groups, I belong to none.  I have been thinking that maybe I need to have one now; I have a growing longing to belong somewhere.
 Thich Nhat Hanh describes a spiritual community, a "Sangha", as a group of people who can keep you on your path. He said "If we support each other, we become much stronger, and we can more easily resist the temptation of despair." I agree. But does our community have to share a spiritual belief system, or is it enough that it just cares for us, despite our beliefs? And, if so, what does "spiritual" mean in this context?
 Websters has a few definitions for "spiritual".  One says it is "concerned with religious values". I don't think that works for me. I prefer this one:  "of or relating to sacred matters."  What is sacred is a very personal decision, but may be shared by people of very different belief systems. "Religious values" suggest to me that a common belief system must be shared before people can be considered to be in a spiritual community. At one time I may have agreed that common religious values were a necessity for a group to support it's members, but in the last month I have opened and changed my mind considerably.
 I mentioned in my last blog that my Father has been sick. It has been an emotionally and physically exhausting experience. But slowly, I have also been awakened to the beauty and kindness, the decency and friendship that has been shown to me through this trial. If a spiritual community is not a group held together by common "religious" values but of shared "sacred" values, I seem to have had one I hadn't fully recognized or appreciated until now.
  At night, when I would return from the hospital, my Facebook profile and inbox would be full of virtual hugs, offers to help, words of love and support and just "thinking of you" messages. When I managed to make it into work, my coworkers would come by and put a hand on my shoulder, ask if I needed anything or inquire about my Dad. I was left email messages, phone messages, and even a card  from someone I have never seen, just to let me know I wasn't alone. I sat last night as I meditated and sent some love back, too tired to send messages any other way, but hopeful my love would be felt. As I thought about my "Sangha" I counted Christians and Buddhists, a few Atheists, and an Orthodox Jew. As I continued to send my thoughts of gratitude I saw a Muslim, several Agnostics and a Wiccan. Some of the people I was returning love to I realized I had no idea what "God" they did or did not pray to and it didn't matter one bit. This was my Spiritual Community. They support me, make me stronger and keep me from despair. They keep me on my path of acceptance, kindness and awareness.  They are all sacred to me. 

  I think Buddha would be pleased.

Impermanance

 Impermanence seems to be what the Universe wants me to look at lately. My 89 year old Father spent the last two weeks in the hospital. My daughter moved out of the family home into her own apartment. I had to let some friendships go when I decided they felt unhealthy to me. And than, when I finally caught a breather, the news of loss and destruction in Japan had my and the world's attention.
  Sigh. Loss is nothing new to anyone who's been alive awhile. None of us get to live a life without it. From the small ones to the one's you can only hope you'll never have to face, loss is as inevitable as the sun setting.
 So why do we always seem surprised or filled with disbelief when loss visits us? What is it about something that is so obvious and commonplace, yet we still struggle with it's reality when we have to face it ourselves?  I think our nature is to cling to things, even painful things sometimes, so we can feel more secure in a world of uncertainty. When we love someone, we make them ours and they become a part of who we are. To lose them is to lose a part of ourselves, our role in that person's life, a part of our very identity. If I am no longer a parent, a husband or wife, someone's child, who am I?  How can we be more at peace with the inevitability of loss?
 My answer has been to allow it to remind me of the preciousness of the present moment. Rather than fearing it, I am trying to see it as a gift. Awareness of the reality of things passing away in my own life keeps me appreciative, makes me softer and less likely to take the people I love for granted. Facing other people's losses and pain causes me to be a more compassionate person and makes many of my perceived calamities fade away in comparison. Impermanence, when kept in our awareness, can serve to keep us awake.  It can remind us that the rose will fade soon so we should stop now to take a whiff. It can keep our anger from becoming bigger than our impulse to say "I love you" to a challenging teenager. But, most importantly I think, it can compel us to look more deeply into the stillness and wisdom at our center that knows, in the bigger picture, all separation is really just an illusion anyway.

Breathing....

 I am taking a minute to catch my breath. I've spent the weekend at the hospital with my Dad, who's quite sick. My 19 year old son just packed up his school books and left for the hospital to be with his Grandpa so I can get some laundry done and get some rest. I'm giving myself permission to not think too much. Instead, I'm going to recommend everyone take a few minutes to call someone you never have time to call, hug someone who's around so much you may take their presence for granted and maybe take a minute to send a good book to someone you love just to let them know you were thinking of them. I'm going to go call a few people myself.............

And look at what this guy does with books. WOW!!! 

http://centripetalnotion.com/2007/09/13/13:26:26/

Fear Disguised as Zen?

 I was talking with a friend of mine this week and she was complaining about her husband's lack of urgency about anything. She said, "He talks about things he wants to do, but he's so Zen he never seems to feel any hurry to get there." Hmmmm.......
 I am also very "Zen" and since she said this to me it has been rattling around in my head. I am often described as "laid back", "easy going" and "chill".  From the outside, most people would see this as being worry-free and a bit fearless. In many ways I am, through years of studying Buddhism, meditating and reading books that further my understanding of  letting go and acceptance. I stay more present than a lot of people I know. There's not much to worry about in this moment. But still, I thought about what my friend had said. Something about it was bothering me. Hmmmm........ and then, it hit me.
 I knew her husband. I knew about his plans, ideas, hopes and dreams. He talked about them a lot, with enthusiasm. But somehow, when it came time to making a commitment towards making them happen, to taking a step toward them, he just never did. I also realized, it had nothing to do with being "Zen"; it was good old fashioned fear disguised as calm. What had made this resonate with me is that I realized I have also learned to not feel my fear of stepping off; I just avoid it by being "contemplative", sometimes endlessly, about things that might involve risk.  I have been confusing my inaction when I'm fearful as just being willing to be happy where I am.
 Wow. This feels important to me. I wonder how common it is among my fellow inner peace seekers. I'm betting more common than many of us have imagined.
  For myself, I've decided to be a little more willing to feel my fear. But from now on, rather than making it my enemy, I think I'll embrace it and let it spur me towards courageous action. A little nervous energy, when you think about it, can feel an awful lot like excitement. And I don't know about you, but I never want to get so Zen I forget the shivery joy of giving an unsure thing a try. Here's to feeling the fear and doing it anyway!